Everything You Need to Know About Dating a Scorpio

Uh-oh—have you been seduced by a Scorpio? Join the club! Literally no one can resist the allure of this intriguing, enchanting water sign. Just like its namesake, the enigmatic scorpion, these infamous arachnids are the ultimate shadow-dwellers, known for their mysterious sensibilities. When you’re tangled up with a Scorpio, you can expect to experience passion like never before… but it will always come at a cost. So how can you prepare for Scorpio’s riveting romance? Don’t worry—I’ve got you covered!

Birthday: October 23 to November 21

Modality: Fixed

Element: Water

Ruling planet: Mars (traditional) and Pluto (modern)

Represented by: The scorpion

Tarot card: Death

Best crystals: Topaz, lapis lazuli, bloodstone, diamond, ruby, malachite

Keywords: Intense, passionate, emotional, secretive, sexual, sensual, deep, vengeful, guarded, loyal, scary

In modern astrology, Scorpio is ruled by Pluto—the distant planet that governs profound, cataclysmic transformation. (ICYMI, astronomy and astrology are not the same: Although Pluto has been demoted in astronomy, it’s still identified as a planet in astrology.) In Roman mythology, Pluto (and the Greek counterpart, Hades) is the god of the underworld—but don’t worry, there’s no reason to get scared! Although we often imagine the underworld as a place of fire and brimstone, it’s not nearly as sinister in astrology. In fact, the underworld is a regenerative space where phoenixes rise from the ashes and Scorpio—elusive and complex—experiences a powerful metamorphosis.

You get the idea: Scorpio is deep. And they take relationships seriously: They’re looking for a partner who will challenge them intellectually, emotionally, and sexually. For Scorpio, an intimate relationship has the power to unlock new psychological dimensions, transmitting both themselves and their lover into totally uncharted territory. When bonded with this water sign, prepare to dive into the nooks and crannies of your psyche.

As you could imagine, however, building this type of relationship requires incredible trust. After all, Scorpio would never expose their truths to just anyone—their secrets aren’t casual! Accordingly, Scorpio enters into new bonds slowly and cautiously. Before they commit, Scorpio needs to ensure that 1) you can handle their intensity and 2) you won’t flake out. So before Scorpio makes anything “official,” they’ll conduct a series of tests to gauge both your emotional intelligence and level of loyalty.

Oh, you didn’t know Scorpio was conducting rigorous experiments? Of course you didn’t! Scorpio will never reveal their rubric—I mean, that would totally defeat the purpose, right? But don’t worry: It’s easy to tell how you scored. If you passed, you’ll find yourself in an honest, supportive, and intimate relationship with this mysterious shadow-dweller. And if you failed, well…you’re probably still left on read.

Only after you successfully complete the rigorous examination training program first few weeks months of dating will you truly know how this water sign behaves in a relationship. While each Scorpio lover is unique in their approach, you can certainly expect this infamous arachnid to reveal their powerful intuition. In fact, Scorpio is one of the most psychic signs of the zodiac. Unlike the other water signs (Cancer and Pisces), however, Scorpio actually converts instinct into power—they’re fueled by their emotions.

Because Scorpio is propelled by etheric data (nonphysical information, such as body language, tone of voice, and general ~vibes~), they’re always reading between the lines. For this mysterious sign, everything is a symbol… and every symbol is significant. Scorpio investigates everything, so be hyper-aware of how you’re communicating. You may have thought you were sending an innocent emoji, but for Scorpio, that particular smiley face is a loaded gesture. The next thing you know, that haphazard emoji is sending Scorpio down a cavernous rabbit hole (that’s the exact same emoji when you posted a comment on your ex’s picture back in 2021!!!), and just like that, they’re suddenly questioning everything.

In fact, when this water sign feels nervous or threatened, Scorpio becomes consumed by their shadowy sensibilities. Scorpio can become shady, sneaky, and even a little creepy (this sign wrote the book on “internet stalking research”). If you start noticing this behavior in your Scorpio lover, be sure to call it out right away: Once exposed, Scorpio will resist the urge to indulge these qualities. If their clandestine gestures go unnoticed, however, Scorpio can’t help but indulge, compounding more and more secrets until—the next thing you know—they’ve built an entire new reality in total darkness. Yikes!

Some Scorpios are easy to spot. They’re like a femme fatal character in a film noir, sitting at the edge of a bar, hidden beneath a wide-brim hat, an oversize trench coat, and a glass of top-shelf whiskey. These classic arachnids are attracted to all that lives in the shadows, and likewise, they’re turned on by dark, mysterious lovers peppered with a hint of danger. How scandalous!

But not all Scorpios identify with this moody archetype. In fact, Scorpios can also be bright, joyful people who love bright colors, positive affirmation, and upbeat pop music. This type of Scorpio would likely be turned off by excessively emo energy, so there’s no reason to layer on the black eyeliner. That look is trying way too hard.

No matter how your Scorpio lover dresses, one thing’s for sure: All Scorpios have an acute sense of smell. In an almost animalistic way, this water sign can derive tons of emotional data from scent: They can smell both fear and desire. If you’re trying to impress this passionate lover, experiment with different colognes, perfumes, and essential oils. Explore fragrances that have some classic signature notes that are both elegant and alluring (some great examples are musk, frankincense, myrrh, and amber). But unless you can do it the right way, don’t even think about showing up for your first date dripping in cheap body spray: Scorpio will not just be turned off, they’ll actually be totally nauseated. Check, please!

Let's talk compatibility!

The Signs You're Most Romantically Compatible With

The Signs You're Most Sexually Compatible WIth

Think You're Not Compatible? You Might Be Wrong

Scorpio is literally *the* sign of sex, so yeah, getting into bed with them is mind-blowing. Like, you'll never be the same ever again, you'll never again have a partner who will live up to their memory, they'll be the star of your fantasies for the rest of your life, etc. Obviously, this is amazing when you're dating or hooking up with a Scorpio, but after a breakup? It's kinda hellish. Good luck!

Here's the thing about Scorpio: They're intensely private. They're the type who won't mention you to their friends until you've DTR'd. They miiiiiight post you on Instagram after you've been together for at least five years, but that's not a guarantee. Scorpio is also the sign of all things secret, mysterious, and hidden. So take them somewhere under-the-radar: A speakeasy, but only if it hasn't gone viral on TikTok yet and the password is actually still hard to find. A new restaurant that no one knows about yet. A quiet walk on the beach/park/city streets. Or maybe your bedroom... or theirs.

Scorpio and Taurus (April 19-May 20)

Taurus is Scorpio's opposite on the zodiac wheel, and you know what they say about opposites—they attract! Taurus and Scorpio fit together like two puzzle pieces, helping each other grow and balancing each other out. Awww!

Scorpio and Cancer (June 21-July 22)

Fellow water sign Cancer totally understands Scorpio's deep emotions and strong intuition. While Cancer might show their emotions (read: cry in public) more than Scorpio does, Scorpio feels *at least* as deeply as they do.

Scorpio and Virgo (August 23-September 22)

Earth sign Virgo has investigative powers to rival Scorpio's. Both signs share an analytical mind and an endless sense of curiosity. Together, they can uncover *anything*. Plus, practical Virgo can help balance out Scorpio's more melodramatic side.

Scorpio and Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

Who understands a Scorpio like another Scorpio? Together, these two's powers are doubled. Things are perfect... until they disagree on something, because this sign is famously stubborn.

Scorpio and Capricorn (December 22-January 19)

Like Virgo and Taurus, earth sign Capricorn can help provide stability and logic to balance out Scorpio's more dramatic side. Ambitious Capricorn also shares Scorpio's drive. Together, these two are a total power couple.

Scorpio and Pisces (February 19 to March 20)

Pisces admires and shares Scorpio’s psychic powers and deep emotions. These two water signs are all feels, even though they might show it in different ways. Scorpio is also captivated by Pisces's active imagination and thoughtful advice.

Scorpio and Gemini (May 21-June 21)

Outgoing, chatty Gemini can get on Scorpio's nerves. Plus, Scorpio demands honesty and loyalty from others and they distrust Gemini's mutability—Gem can act like one person with one group and a totally different person with another.

Scorpio and Leo (July 23-August 22)

Scorpio and Leo are both incredibly stubborn, which means that when they butt heads, it's over. And they will butt heads. Scorpio gets annoyed at Leo's showboating, attention-loving nature, while Leo doesn't get why Scorpio is acting so secretive all the time.

Scorpio and Aquarius (January 20-February 18)

Scorpio and Aquarius are both fixed signs, which means they're both stubborn and they both believe in their own opinion so strongly that they can find it hard to take anyone else's POV seriously. And they're so different that they just can't understand each other.

Scorpio and Aries (March 21-April 19)

Typically, Scorpio doesn't get along so well with fire signs, but Aries is a possible exception because they share a traditional ruler, Mars, with Scorpio. Mars gives both signs their high libidos, their bravery, and their ambition. So despite all their differences, these two might find a way to connect.

Scorpio and Libra (September 23-October 22)

Scorpio and Libra are side-by-side in the zodiac, which can have a big sibling/little sibling or childhood-best-friend-next-door energy: They bicker and argue, but they've also got each other's backs. In some cases, this can lead to a friends-to-lovers situation or a playful romantic connection, but in others, these two just clash.

Scorpio and Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)

The same applies to Sagittarius, Scorpio's other zodiac neighbor. There's no denying that these two are totally different, but sometimes they're different in a way that the other finds intriguing.